Crush
by FoxfireX17
Summary: A sappy songfic. I'm a strict Zel/Lina, Xel/Ame pairer, and I've rarely seen Xellos/Amelia fanfic. So if you share my strange tastes, enjoy.


**Crush**

Author's note: Set to the song Crush, by the Dave Mathews Band.   
  
  


_Crazy, how it feels tonight_   
_Crazy, how you make it all alright love_   
_Crush me, with those things you do_   
_And I'll do for you, anything, too, oh_   
_Sitting, smoking, feeling high_   
_And in this moment, oh, it feels so right_

The night is always the worst. Whatever it is that burns within me throughout the day can only be alleviated by your presence. The feeling is new to me, and for once I'm afraid. The things you say and do have become my complete existence, and the thought of losing you has become an impossibility to me. I can't lose you.

As a Mazoku, I feed on negative energy, but your pain leaves a foul taste in my mouth and I find myself desiring to let no harm come to you. Standing here by your bedside, watching you snuggle into your covers as you sleep, everything clarifies. Mazoku aren't supposed to love … but I love you, Amelia.

_Lovely lady I am at your feet_   
_Oh god I want you so badly_   
_And I wonder this, could tomorrow be_   
_So wonderous as you there sleeping …_

You're all that I live for, Amelia. Everything I do, I find myself lost in my desire to be near you.

"Xellos …"

My name rides your breath. Are you having a nightmare? A pleasant dream, perhaps? No, I mustn't raise my hopes. The harsh reality I might never recover from.

You cradle your pillow like a sleeping form beside you. What does it mean, Amelia? I want to wake you so I may confess all these emotions, these "night fevers", as I've termed them. I want to show you how much you mean to me.

_Let's go drive 'til morning comes_   
_Watch the sunrise and fill our souls up_   
_And drink some wine 'til we get drunk, yeah!_   
_It's crazy I'm thinking just knowin' that the world is round_   
_And here I'm dancing on the ground_   
_Am I right side up or upside down_   
_And is this real or am I dreaming …_

We could live a normal life! We'll travel across the country, fighting for justice, if you so wish. I wouldn't mind, as long as I'm with you. Then we could camp out under the stars, talking, or lay by the fire at an inn, reading a book together. You'd fall asleep in my arms each night, and awaken in them each morning …

I don't know who I am, anymore. You've changed my life so drastically, made me rethink my beliefs and the way I've lived my life up to this point. Even without you I can't go back to the way I once was.

Your sleep-laced utterance of my name … Could you possibly feel for me what I feel for you? That yearning to spend the remainder of my eternity worshipping you? Or am I deluding myself?

_Lovely lady let me drink you please_   
_Won't spill a drop no I promise you_   
_Lying under this spell you cast on me_   
_Each moment the more I love you_

Have you enchanted me? I've not been myself since I met you. My heart aches with the intensity of my love, and I live only to make you happy. I'll be loyal to you, protect you, comfort you. I'll offer you everything. Each moment we're apart my love only grows stronger, Amelia, and I'm afraid my heart will burst with it if I don't do something.

_Crush me, come on, oh yeah!_   
_It's crazy I'm thinking just knowin' that the world is round_   
_And here I'm dancing on the ground_   
_Am I right side up or upside down_   
_And is this real, oh, or am I dreaming …_

Amelia shifts and her eyes flutter open. She spots me before I can make a move to conceal myself in shadow, or even register if the thought had crossed my mind at all. "Xellos? What are you doing here?"

She's frightened, inwardly if not outwordly. "Hello, Amelia."

"Hi. Why are you in my room?" Her tone is cold now, accusing.

"I-." I'm at a loss for words. This is my opportunity to pour my heart out and I can't think of a goddamned word.

"Be quick, Xellos!"

"I was watching you sleep."

Her eyes speak the next question.

"I've been restless. Coming here eases my mind."

Her eyes soften, ever my caring Amelia. "Why aren't you smiling? What's bothering you?" She pats the bed beside her.

I opt to kneel on the floor before her, my head and arms resting on the bed. I sigh, allowing myself to savor her warmth, her smell. "I don't know if I can tell you."

"Is it a secret?"

"Yes."

"Tell me, Xellos, if it's burdening you! I hate to see you in pain."

"It concerns you. Do you still want to know?"

"Please."

Something in those saphire orbs forces me to continue. "Amelia, do you know the impact you've had on me? There isn't a moment of the day or night you don't haunt me. Everything about you, even those long, seemingly endless justice speeches, I've fallen madly in love with. You've made me want to turn over a new leaf and start anew … Amelia, why are you crying?"

"I thought you'd never … Mazoku can't love, it's what everybody says!"

"No, darling, I speak from personal experience when I say Mazoku definately can love. And the hope of your love was all I had to live for for so long, Amelia, and I grew weary of it. I had to tell you."

"I knew in my soul there was kindness in you. I love you, Xellos. I always have."

She loves me! Is this real, or am I dreaming?

_Lovely lady, I will treat you sweet_   
_Adore you, I mean you crush me_   
_And it's times like this when my faith I feel it_   
_I know of how I love you_

"Forgive me, but I've come here many nights to think. Being near you quelled the ache. At times I even believed in a higher power beyond Cephied or Ruby Eye, and in one of those instances I discovered I had fallen in love with you. Keeping it a secret was slowly killing me, but I was afraid."

"Xellos, I'm sorry for how much you've suffered. You should've told me. I would've listened even if I didn't return your affections."

"I know, Amelia." I brush a strand of hair from her eye, my hand lingering on her brow a second afterword. "I want you to know I'll try to be everything you've ever dreamed. You'll be my whole world."

"And you mine."

_Come on, come on, baby_   
_It's crazy I'm thinking just as long as you're around_   
_And here I'll be dancing off the ground_   
_Am I right side up or upside down_   
_To each other we'll be facing_   
_My love! My love!_   
_We'll beat back the pain we've found_   
_You know I mean to tell you all the things_   
_I've been thinking deep inside, my friend_   
_Each moment the more I love you_

"But what about our friends? Hell, our races? Will they accept us?" she asks.

"We might not be accepted, but true love will triumph over any hardships it endures."

She smiles. "Love conquers all, right?"

I take her chin in my hand and bring her face down where I can reach it, then kiss her with all the passion I've had pent up inside. I break away enough to join her on the bed, where she leans back, pulling me down on top of her. I shower kisses over her face and neck, not noticing I love you has echoed each one until I hear her tell me she loves me, too.

_Crush me, come on, baby_   
_So much you have given up, that_   
_I would give you back again and again_   
_Oh, my love, many now hold you_   
_But please, please, just let me, always_

We lie spent in one another's arms, having given our hearts, bodies, and souls. I twirl a dark hair around my finger, Amelia dozing peacefully against my chest. She has given me more than I could ever hope to return, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it wasn't all in vain.


End file.
